Harry Potter and the Violent Venus Flytrap p 1
by Victoire Blackwell
Summary: Harry gets an odd gift for his birthday from someone unknown. Help him figure out who!
1. Chapter 1

**Harry Potter and the Vigorous, Violent Venus Flytrap**

It was an ordinary day for fifteen-year-old Harry Potter. His birthday approached swiftly, and Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia gave him the annual pair of socks. It shocked Harry, because instead of Vernon's old socks, they were newly bought from the department store.

"What's going on? Why are these new?" he asked. Uncle Vernon didn't bother looking up at him. Aunt Petunia stirred her tea and stared at her _Gossip Weekly. _

"We bought them for Duddy-kins, but he didn't want them. He has sensitive feet!" muttered Aunt Petunia stealing a loving glance at her killer-whale shaped son. Dudley groaned.

"Mum!" he said. He would have said more, but when Aunt Petunia placed some cinnamon buns in front of him, Dudley forgot about everything and swallowed the fourteen cinnamon buns all at once. Harry didn't bother hiding his laughter.

"Go to your room!" yelled Uncle Vernon for no good reason. Harry shrugged and began to go upstairs. _What's the point of staying anyway? _

When he got to his room, Hedwig dutifully screeched until Harry opened his window. There was a parcel in Hedwig's claws.

"What've you got there, Hedwig?" asked Harry. He tried to push away some of his untidy, black hair out of his eyes. Hedwig placed the parcel on Harry's poor excuse for a desk. Harry stared at it until his adolescent curiosity got the best of him. He opened the parcel and... looked at a miniature Venus Flytrap.

"What the hell?" muttered Harry. There was a card, but it was obviously store-bought. There was a picture of a teddy bear holding a balloon on it. Harry opened it and inside... it was blank. Someone had gotten a card and not bothered writing in it. He took his wand out of his back pocket and pointed at the cheesy, yet, mysterious card and said, "Aparecium," softly. The card began to light up, but after several seconds, nothing happened. Harry stared at the plant and shrugged. "I tried," he said plainly. Honestly, it wasn't a plant. Who cares who sent it? As he turned to leave his room, he felt a sharp sting on his back. Harry whirled around to find the Venus Flytrap staring at him... with eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL!" exclaimed Harry. The Flytrap made a face.

"Honestly, you humans have _no _manners at all! This is the second time you've cursed, my boy!" said the plant. Harry didn't know what shocked him more. That the plant talked... or that the plant was telling him off for manners.

_To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

Harry Potter and the Vigorous, Violent-tongued, Venus Flytrap

Harry just stared at the plant for quite some time.

"Well?" snapped the plant, "Not up for conversation, then, boy?" Harry still had a shocked expression etched on his face.

"I'm Harry," he said with his eyes open. Magic had been one thing. Talking, carnivorous plants was another.

"Yes, yes, we all know you're the famous Harry Potter, now get me some water!" said the plant snidely, "And call me Sir Cedward the second!"

"Erm, okay," said Harry, ignoring the plant's rudeness. "So, err... Cedward-" "_SIR_Cedward the_ SECOND_!" Harry decided he had to play by its rules to get an

understanding of the situation.

"Sir Cedward the Second, I shall get the water you- Oh to hell with it! Just tell me who sent you!" He was getting sick of the plant's snobbish attitude.

"Hmpf!" Sniffed the plant, "How rude of you! I shall tell you nothing without water, as I am dying of thirst! Didn't your mother teach you manners, boy?"

" My mother is dead, '_Your Highness'_" Harry spat at the plant.

"Who's fault is that, _'boy-who-lived'?" _the plant said snidely. Harry was about to cast 'Incendio', but he wanted to control his rage, and not set the killer whales' house on fire.

"_WHO SENT YOU?" _roared Harry.

"Water!" sang Cedward.

"Fine!" Harry snapped, "_Aguamenti!"_

"Took you long enough, servant." It sniffed. Harry snapped at that.

"_Flipendo!" _screamed Harry. Cedward went flying backwards. Soil from its pot flew all over the place. _Winguardium Leviosa!"_ Cedward came flying up above Harry's head. "Tell me what I need to know or I'll knock you out the window!" said Harry viciously.

"All right!" gasped Cedward, "Cedric Diggory!" Harry stopped short. He flung his wand on his bed, and it caused Cedward to fall.

"Cedric? Rubbish! I saw him die!" said Harry. The plant said no more. It's eyes were gone. Harry had killed Sir Cedward... the second.

_To be Continued._


End file.
